And Now to Sum Things Completely Different

---review------ ... "Now to Sum Things" released in 2006 is the second album from the Phloide.com project, featuring a generally similar (but perhaps a bit edgier) sound compared to its predecessor 2002 Album "Deception" made by "Phloide.com and the Garden Gnome Liberation Front". On Phloide's "Now to Sum Things", some songs such as "Danny's Magic Cellphone", "Ride of a lifetime"" and "Yertle and Bartholomew" definitely lean towards the edgy hard driving industrial rock end of the musical spectrum. Others such as "Zillion Faces", "Pint of Dark Matter", and "Sum of All Things" feature more of a melancholy gothic sound. Other Tracks such as "Schrödinger’s Kitty", "Ahab's Bee of Death", "The Great Opaque Divide" and instrumentals "Dancing upon the Ephemeron" and "Cheese" feature a diverse mix of edgy alternative rock beats, distorted guitar and bass sounds, and dark or sometimes whimsical sounding synthesizer melody lines. "Birdies Bouncing Off Windows" is quite humorous and deeply melancholy and though provoking all at the same time. All songs feature a very distinctive sounding electronically processed vocal delivery which blends in well with the mood of the songs, and adds to the album's edgy and unique alternative/industrial musical appeal... The written content of the songs is perhaps the most amazing aspect of Phloide's "Now for Sum Thing" album and is persistently humorous and deeply thought provoking throughout. If you are a fan of British Humor, Dr. Seuss, or nursery rhymes (or all of the above) you are really in for a treat as the writing of the songs is riddled with humorous references to the likes of Monty Python, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Spinal Tap, Yertle the turtle, Fox in Socks, Horton the Who, Peter Rabbit, the Cheshire Cat, Charlotte’s web, Mother Goose, Goldilocks, and even H.R. Pufnstuf. I can also detect some subtle tips of the hat to great classical rock musicians such as Pink Floyd, the Eagles, Jimmi Hendrix and Rush. The lyric sheet is quite extensive and thorough with the lyrical imagery delivered in mostly a poetic or metaphorical style. The written content of the deeply thought out song lyrics are guaranteed to tickle your brain and challenge your thoughts in the subjects of the validity of the theory of evolution and some aspects of quantum physics, mankind's treatment of his fellow man, and the significance of One's life and search for meaning in God's Creation and Universe. At least these are some of my interpretations so far of the album's lyrical content and deep meanings, and you are likely to come away with your own unique interpretations of the meanings of the songs as you embark upon the adventure of exploring this great album. In conclusion, Phloide.com and the Micronauts "And now to Sum Things Completely Different" is a brilliantly written collection of skillfully crafted fresh and innovative underground rock sounds that is sure to appeal to fans of Industrial, Gothic, and Alternative Rock alike. RivotRich.7 http://www.myspace.com/rivot_rich7 ------------------------------------------ JJ 1) Zillion Faces I hears a zillion voices crying out for meaning and I swears they sounds a lot like me I sees a zillion faces that yearn for the notion of being and I swears they looks a lot like me 2) I Went on a Ride I went on a ride In the great space coaster With Tinky Winky And his brave little toaster. He said No it don’t cook the custard even But while others go to 10 This one goes to 11 We went to the restaurant At the end of the universe and he read to me from the reading rainbow connection Verse by verse by verse What’s your Name What’s your quest What’s your favorite color come and take a look into my magic mirror You can stay if you brought your towel But please don’t call me Barney Strange is our Situation here upon the earth Stranger still the longing of our soul Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness Yet we all want someone to say well done. I went to a BBQ and what did I see HR Pufnstuff coming after me He said we have an interview with the new zoo review With Dr. Horton the Who, Winnie the Pooh, and The Buggaloos There is no reason to get excited, HR kindly spoke There are many among us Who think life is but a syndicated show What’s your Name What’s your quest What’s your favorite color come and take a look into my magic mirror You can stay if you brought your towel But please don’t call me Barney Strange is our Situation here upon the earth Stranger still the longing of our soul Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness Yet we all want someone to say well done. So I said to the Captain Please bring me my Chocolate Dan said we haven’t had that Box here Since Frank Farion forgot my number When I close my eyes at the end of the session Will the answer be forty-two guess it pends on the question. 3) Danny’s Magick Cellphone Wouldn’t it be neat if the moon was made of green cheese And the earth was a bagel Then God could have breakfast on the way to work And heat His coffee on the sun Oh Danny boy the pipes are calling From glen to mountain side its been a thousand two hundred and ninety days and your dinosaurs have all died Life was so much simpler before we killed the man on the moon the pleasures of life much sweeter before the plate divorced the spoon Put down your cell phone Put on your shades Roll down your window Take a look around before the ambiance fades one thousand three hundred and thirty five days since we drank to our surmise I still can’t read the Writing on the wall must be the clouds in my eyes We have slaughtered all the unicorns and caged up all the dragons is there anyone remaining who'll have a drink with me and Bilbo Baggins Put on your big hat put down your PDA time is sipping cider from an hour glass as Lucy’s selling wisdom for the price of lemonade As Danny’s dinosaur takes a bow before he slips into his enclave now just a star in the face of the sky no time to see him wave when swimming in the tapestry of a rich man’s kingdom never forget the simple smile of a clown who loves to dance put on your trench coat Put away your aftershave don’t forget your goulashes come and join the masquerade as we serenade home jump back patty whack give a Danny his bone and when this mortal flesh shall fail I will leave a light on 4) Birdies Bouncing Off Windows I see birdies bouncing off windows Simply because they don’t believe they are there There are no second chances Their bodies are broken by the choices they have made And goliath comes, and he swallows them down and he smiles Cuz you know he thinks it’s a game, doggy snacks from heaven And fate laughs as she lays down her final hand And we turn our heads as we wonder if the gamble was worth the price we paid 5) Cheese -with apologies to Dave Matthews There are hundreds of thousands of things you can eat that are not cheese 6) Yertle & Batholomew Yertle and Bartholomew sitting with in the vestibule searching for exotic tools to computate the Golden rule If Bartholomew had 500 hats He would want 500 more his cracked emphatic intellect cannot keep objective score He would not clock it in a box he could not with a fox in socks it’s safe behind his mental blocks locked his rocks from Goldilox fixation stirred with whey and curds is symbiosis with social thrombosis his pretense builds his defense rational internal splicing spoils our fare with over-spicing don’t let our need for reason blemish the dance don’t let our want for bits & portion taint the romance Yertle says that what I do the limbic system tells me to I’ve drank the wishy-washy brew and never tasted anything new Over the hill and through the woods the wolf is surely waiting dilapidated vigor the caveat yertle van turtle still wants to be king Synchronic allure cannot confer his pending diagnosis of his apotheosis, he gathers reference without preference incoherent cognant pricing taste it once again this time with icing don’t let our need for reason blemish the dance don’t let our want for bits and portion taint the romance bitter tasting weed and brine oft mistaken for bread and wine from the start to finish line we are more than our design 7) Schrödinger’s Kitty (Strings) This is my corrugated ditty about a pitiable little kitty Dissipating in a chromodynamic shroud when along came a spider upon the supercollider to derail his fractal cloud she said my name is charlotte as she weaves her scarlet I have come to entwine your reactor he said kitties like me need no name we have no claim to fame but my imaginary friends like to call me factor web-weaver web weaver weave me a web where love and suffering and visions wed Where wind and soil share the wine and the bread where father time has his fortune read I have sipped from the chalice Threaded yarn through the palace acquire designed, of life defined, watching time cast silhouettes I have treaded down the random walk twist the hands of the clock bake a mistake, my cake to partake, I still have my XFL season tickets She listens to the tune that gently fumes from the strings of factor’s fiddle with a song no one wrote he misses not one note not one yod or one tittle she told of her bought with the water spout and the clout that washed her spirit out how all the kings men and all the kings horses could not dry her doubt but the sun did return between the drenched and the burn she found a route through the drought, her serenity to yearn my children dropped their guitars, & return to mars to discover their worth in vittles Now they talk about mom’s piggy, and their old friend Ziggy watching battlefield earth and eating skittles they step into the room weave the strings upon the loom making garments to embellish their attire as the strings become the noose that asphyxiate the truths They have basted upon the fire Tachyons dance in this hyper luminal romance with a hey diddle diddle, we fade from the middle of the spindle The strings vigorously unwind as he smiles at his Cheshire design the line between the bronze and the brittle the kitty in his cradle spins his fractured dreidel trying to win another silver spoon just a loan from the unknown what’s intricately been sewn between splendid, extraordinary and Picayune yet the resolutions we swallow are like the intuitions we borrow no one can taste our curds and whey through all said and done we dance upon the ephemeron and feast from a tailored buffet web weaver web weaver spin me my fate the late cant implicate, nor detractors debate estate calls to estate, and time wont wait at the gate there are plates I’d rather not ornate 8) Pint of Dark matter Crack the quasar over the skillet scramble it up with some eggs and wine Take a pint or two of dark matter season it with rosemary sage and Thyme the handmaids have offered us a piece of bread are we nothing further than transmographied stardust simple amalgamations of lime soda and floor crust are we strange and are we charmed have we abandoned the haven of old McDonalds farm nothing more than supplementary quirks in space time progressive impediments of intention and rhyme the handmaids have offered us a cup of wine are we nothing further than transmographied stardust simple amalgamations of lime soda and floor crust 9) Ahab’s Bee of Death yesterday I got stung to death by an itty bitty bee and it hurt oh so bad made me sad, why oh why, made me cry I don’t wanna wanna die hurt so bad made me sad no, not glad made me mad then it stung me to death again but it didn’t hurt quite as bad, but it still made me cry why o why all the pain in my brain falls like rain leaves a stain from the strain hurt so bad still kinda sad still not glad made me mad Ahab calls us to join him to slay the mighty beast but in our lust for revenge we soon become the feast Then it stung me to death again for a third time feeling kinda numb, feeling fine and appeased the touch of the bees its my thing the caress of the sting bees my friend don’t wanna end don’t hurt so bad, kinda glad I like being sad I enjoy being mad Then with one one more sting I couldn’t live without the zesty sting oh the joy the sting brings numb the pain what shall I ever gain from the stain in my brain it don’t hurt at all like shopping at the mall the writings on the wall I’ve become so small What do we gain when Cain offers grain upon the alter of distain and despair, our rage cannot repair the shoes we wear Ahab calls us to join him to slay the mighty beast but in our lust for revenge we soon become the feast 10) Dancing upon the Ephemeron 11) The Great Opaque divide Betty Jo Jingle and Bobby Jangle come from the world at a different angle and found themselves in forbidden romance in a land where Razzleflabbenz never dare to dance Betty’s hair was fuchsia Bobby’s hair was chartreuse Betty’s tail was acute Bobby’s tail was obtuse For the field of Loshon Hora an orthogonal wall grew between the shades myths and legends brewed the stew lost in analysis, brotherhood unglued Betty Jo cried “If we left all the primary colors pure never have all the beautiful shades of fur let the Shades of fur start to blur I must confer, to be assure” Bobby replied “Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can, And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran And this same hair that smiles today tomorrow I’ll be dyeing. “ for Bobby and Betty Jo’s love implied the disengagement of the opaque divide maybe somewhere they forgot to give ponderance why it had to be this way There is unrest in the meadow There is trouble the in glade we could become equal with trimmer, sheers, and blade Would noone truly hate if we all epilate or would this end in futility until we learn to accept the potpourri we don’t need pathogenic ocular dissonance we don’t need to abandon our inheritance we just need to learn to dance and stop romancing irrelevance They, hand in hand, with wandering steps and slow, Search for the where the sidewalk ends and where the Giving Tree grows And while all is said and done let us unspin walls undone and let the path be run run with unity love and absolution 12) Sum of All Things It was mid Octember when we got the news it was late Febrilary when it came to pass now the first of Janutober and still many questions unasked Old Saint Nick sips his last coke silly Samhain tells his final joke and peter rabbit has gone his way to greener fields Some come to unremember Some come to unregret here at the House mother goose has built Danny’s dinosaur finally has come home folly once scorned over popcorn as we charade across the stage now we take a bow as we are known as we are now here at the sum of all things SDG De Colores, Table Of Paul, SWVA #15