Bo Burnham《Intro》[MP3_LRC]

[00:00.00]90听音乐网 www.90T8.com  [00:08.92]This is Bo Burnham [00:12.23]He's 22 years old [00:15.48]He's a male  and he looks like the genetic product [00:19.79]Of a giraffe having sex with Ellen Degeneres [00:24.58]He has a gigantic head and tiny ******* [00:29.66]He's isolated himself over the last five years in the pursuit of comedy [00:35.28]And in doing so has lost touch with reality [00:42.72]You're an asshole  Bo  You hear me [00:48.79]You think you know better than me [00:51.84]You think you know better than everybody [00:55.86]You will die alone  and you will deserve it [01:01.41]But in the meantime you might as well tell those silly jokes of yours [01:07.59]See if that helps [01:21.93]You used to do comedy when you felt like being funny [01:28.07]But now you're contraction-ally obligated [01:31.23]So dance you f**king monkey [01:35.64]Dance monkey dance [01:37.23]Welcome to the show [01:38.20]This is Bo  this is his show [01:40.05]And Bo likes to dance like this [01:43.26]Welcome to the show  this is Bo [01:44.94]This is his show  and Bo takes off his pants like this [01:49.29]Play an invisible drum [01:52.08]Play an invisible trumpet trumpet sound [01:55.07]Drink some invisible water [01:57.86]Oh sh*t  That water's real [02:01.25]Bo wants to make you feel comfortable [02:04.14]Bo wants to make you feel comfortable [02:07.41]Bo wants to make you feel comfortable [02:10.06]So sit back  relax  and enjoy a healthy dose of [02:13.24]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:16.26]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:19.29]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:22.27]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:25.24]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:28.22]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:31.04]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:34.78]Prolonged eye contact [02:37.18]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:40.35]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:43.31]Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact [02:46.03]Lick your lips to make it more comforting [02:48.71]Do you want to see a magic trick [02:51.85]Do you want to see a magic trick [02:54.86]Do you want to see a magic trick [02:57.85]Then pick a card any card-Psyche [03:01.32]Magic isn't real  you idiot  read a book [03:04.31]Magic isn't real  you idiot  read a book [03:07.34]Magic isn't real  you idiot  read a book [03:10.26]Magic isn't real  or is it [03:16.48]And at that moment [03:18.63]Bo's 20 year old cynicism melted into childlike wonder [03:24.88]He never knew there could be so much magic in the world [03:29.91]It's a world of possibilities Bo [03:33.43]What do you want to do first  Run [03:36.70]Yeah sure you can run [03:38.90]Fly  Well yeah you can fly [03:43.45]What  What are you what the f**k are you do [03:45.97]What the f**k are you doing [03:47.53]Stop  st-stop it [03:49.57]What the f-you f**king idiot  stop  stop  stop [03:55.04]Anyways  In the distance Bo saw a beautiful fairy [04:00.17]A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud [04:02.33]About being called one in high school [04:05.53]He then came across an old bridge with a troll standing guard [04:09.86]Bo knew he'd have to answer a riddle to get by [04:13.32]The troll spoke thus: [04:16.92]Alright for the last time man I'm not a troll  I'm homeless [04:19.99]Ok  do you have any spare change [04:23.58]Ok that's a used napkin I don't want that [04:26.37]No no stop just you know what leave just leave please leave ' [04:32.62]And then as Bo arrived on the other side of the stage [04:38.10]He saw a unicorn with five horns right in front of him [04:42.75]And the pentacorn spoke thus: [04:47.31]Hello Bo  I've been looking for you for quite a long t-ugh ' [05:07.98]He was safe  for now [05:11.38]But the dark thoughts would soon return [05:17.49]It's Godzilla [05:42.60]It's so hard to be a lizard [05:48.80]It's hard to be a lizard [05:54.52]Tiny arms  itchy gizzard [06:00.90]It's hard to be a lizard [06:08.44]But it's harder to segue [06:10.36]Is he skiing or is he in a gay porn [06:13.06]Is he skiing what or is he in a gay porn [06:16.25]Is he skiing huh or is he in a gay porn [06:19.45]Here's a hint he's in a gay porn [06:22.32]Ok Bo this miming sh*t is getting pretty annoying [06:26.71]So give them the real thing [06:28.82]My voice is so f**king natural [06:34.07]It's naturally good [06:35.70]Naturally good [06:38.71]Naturally good [06:41.72]This is the end of the song and the beginning of the show [06:45.52]Welcome to the show [07:01.69]That lizard part was pretty f**king stupid [07:06.72]We're recording part of the CD tonight  and yeah [07:09.44]Good to start off with eight minutes of mime jokes for the CD [07:15.01]I want to start off with a joke for the fellas [07:16.36]I don't feel like I connect with my men [07:18.38]In the audience as well as [07:19.19]I do with my prepubescent girls [07:21.30]So where my fellas at  Fellas [07:24.82]Yo fellas don't you hate it when you're sucking a guy's xxxx [07:28.50]And he ends up being a faggot  Am I right [07:31.70]These f**king faggots with their tasty xxxxs [07:33.91]Alright if you'd like to leave during [07:40.17]The show the exit signs are marked clearly in red [07:43.04]Sort of a orangish/reddish/fiery red [07:45.17]So we'll be f**ked if we need them [07:46.79]But we can see them now [07:55.24]This show is called 'what ' [07:56.48]And I hope there are some surprises  geez [07:59.51]I knocked the water over by accident [08:01.27]He meant to knock the water over  yeah yeah yeah [08:03.85]But you all thought it was an accident [08:06.45]But he meant to knock the water over  yeah yeah yeah [08:09.19]Art is lie  nothing is real [08:11.23]So it's called 'what ' and it's about  hey cool it [08:14.39]He meant to knock the water over  yeah yeah yeah [08:16.75]But you all thought it was an [08:18.61]Just  take it off repeat  and it won't repeat [08:21.87]This is the good thing [08:22.61]We can edit all this in the actual CD recording [08:24.56]He meant to play the track again  yeah yeah yeah [08:27.19]But you all thought it was an accident [08:29.89]But he meant to play the water track again-gain-gain [08:32.46]Art's still a lie  nothing's still real [08:34.33]What's the deal with segues [08:36.54]Food jokes [08:40.31]How you guys doing up in the nosebleeds  up top [08:44.46]Yes  the nosebleeds where the coc*ine is done [08:47.84]I had a hotdog for breakfast [08:50.67]In Madison actually this morning [08:53.17]And  yeah  afterwards I felt like this whoa whoa [08:59.08]Because I couldn't control my stools  Alright  Jesus [09:06.79]For the people listening  I moved the stool around a lot [09:12.30]This is gonna get difficult [09:15.46]But I'm glad you like poop-based puns [09:16.68]That'll be a majority of the show  so [09:21.13]Never waste a moment [09:21.57]Every moment can become a comedy moment  see [09:25.66]Thank you so much I am