Bo Burnham《One Man Shows》[MP3_LRC]

[00:00.00]90听音乐网 www.90T8.com  [00:00.48]I'm 19 years old, I'm a young comedian [00:01.56]I hate that term, "young comedian", you know [00:03.45]I prefer "prodigy" [00:04.56]And people, they pigeonhole me as a comic [00:09.48]You know, which is so disingenuous 'cause I'm not a comic, I'm an artist [00:11.85]And I don't do comedy shows, I do one man shows [00:14.13]And I've been doing them, uh [00:16.60]1998 was actually my first one man show [00:18.22]It was a show about Jews in **** Germany called Under the Floor Boards [00:21.19]I'll do a scene from that, uh, right now [00:23.11]No no no [00:24.28]Watch and then judge [00:25.09]This is a scene from Under the Floor Boards [00:28.90]"Hey, shh" [00:32.23]And then '99 [00:38.60]'99, I did a show called The Catholic Orgasm, I'll do a scene from that [00:41.84](Moaning) [00:45.02](Sobbing) [00:46.46]2000, I did a piece called The Inappropriate Musician, I'll do a scene from that [00:50.96]"Mike [00:53.09]Mike, back off the ledge, Mike, th- [00:55.22]Mike, think about your kids, do you want them to grow up without a father, is that what you want, Mike?! Mi- [00:59.12]Please listen to me, I'm your friend [01:00.74]No, Mike, don't jump! [01:02.39]No, Mike, no! [01:03.26](Slide whistle down) [01:04.01](Slide whistle up) [01:08.18]"He's saved" [01:13.59]2001, I did John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath [01:16.53]Except I adapted it into a story about an intergalactic sexual predator called The Rapes of Grath [01:23.35]2002, I did a piece, if you're familiar with The Elephant Man [01:26.08]I did a piece based off that called Bulldog Man (Voice cracks when he says "man") [01:29.02]Oh, also known as Bulldog Man (Says "man" properly) for those who hit puberty [01:31.73]And I uh [01:32.36]I'll do a monologue from that right now [01:38.58](Silence) [01:39.60](Laughter) [01:43.79]For those listening on the CD, I kind of look like a bulldog [01:52.60]2003, 4? 3. Doesn't matter, I'm lying [02:01.01]2000- [02:01.16]2004, I did a piece called Sméagol, from Lord of the Rings, Having Sex with a Black Chick, I'll do that [02:06.95](Moaning as Sméagol) [02:07.76]"Precious" [02:22.94]I actually got a Danza nomination for that, it was [02:26.24]Right after the Tony's [02:28.10]2000, uh, 5 [02:30.15]2005, if I could get a blackout for this, I did a piece called Charlie Brown Getting Molested, so if we could blackout right now [02:37.69]"Hello? [02:38.08]Is anybody here?" [02:41.05](Unintelligible trombone noises a la Peanuts cartoon) [02:42.58]"What the f**k are you doing?! Let go of me!" [02:44.38](Unintelligible trombone noises) [02:48.64]"Good grief" [02:49.54]So, 2000, uh, bring the lights up [02:54.77]2007 [02:58.74]2007, I did a piece called The Juggler's Wife, I'll do a scene from that [03:02.22]"Please [03:03.00]Stop JUGGLING!" [03:06.10]2008, I did a [03:09.49]Bit of a controversial piece because I played a slave in the 1780's, but I didn't wear make-up [03:13.42]'Cause I feel as, you know, an artist I'm qualified to tell any story, and uh [03:17.05]It was a piece called Whiplashes and this was the climactic scene [03:20.02]It is hard, raw art, so if you're adverse to that, you might want to look away [03:23.05]But this is, um, the climactic scene from Whiplashes and I hope you enjoy it [03:32.80]"You'll have to answer to God for this" [03:36.88](Whip crack) [03:37.93]"Ow [03:40.15]Ow [03:40.48]Ow [03:42.19]Ow [03:43.06]Ow [03:44.82]Ow [03:49.54]Ow [03:50.35]Ow [03:53.79]...You're a xxxx" [03:56.92]And then, uh, 2000- [04:00.70]...9, which is the last year before the piece I'm doing currently [04:02.95]I did a piece called, it's a very emotional piece, it means a lot to me so forgive me if I break down [04:06.52]But this is a, uh, a scene from it and the piece was called A Boy and His Dog [04:12.51]"Get out of here, alright? [04:14.31]Go, I can't afford to keep you anymore, I just [04:16.91]I can't, it's too [04:18.63]Please don't make this harder than it has to be, I [04:21.91]I hate you, is that what you need to hear from me? [04:23.41]Alright, I hate you [04:26.29]I hate you! [04:31.60]It's not just me [04:35.51]My dog hates Mexicans too"